SAFETY starts with healthy relationships. This lesson focuses on helping students recognize the different relationships in their lives and understand that some relationships are chosen while others are not. Students can use the Building Blocks of Safe Relationships (see graphic) to make healthy, respectful choices in relationships they have control over, such as friendships. Your student learned that the first step in building safe relationships is identifying what matters most to them.
* Together with your student, create a list of things that are important to your family, such as traditions, education, goals, values, and health. Then, talk with your student about the things that are personally important to them, such as their interests, hobbies, goals, friendships, and appearance. This conversation can help your student better understand their family and personal values and what matters most to them when making healthy choices in relationships.
ASSERTIVENESS is an important skill that can prepare your student for making healthy friendship choices. Assertiveness is confidently standing up for yourself and others in a way that helps everyone feel safe and respected. When you are assertive, you can make an active choice about who your friends are. This means when you start or keep a friendship, you think about whether your friend supports and respects your values, stands up for your right to be safe, helps you, and supports you in making safe and responsible choices.
* I-MESSAGES can help you use assertiveness to communicate what matters most to you in a clear, direct, and honest way. I-messages are structured like this:
I FEEL {emotion word} . WHEN {specific action} . I WANT/NEED {specific request} .
Example: Your sibling borrows your favorite shirt without asking: I feel angry when you take my clothes without asking. I need you to ask permission before taking my things.
Here are some possible situations you can use to practice I-messages with your student. Remind them to use assertive body language: Stand tall, look at the person you’re talking to, and use a clear, calm tone of voice.
- Your older sibling is constantly making fun of your Pokémon cards. This generally leads to a fight.
- Your friend gives you a nickname you don’t like, but doesn’t realize you don’t like it.
- You like to watch movies with your cousin, but recently your cousin wants to watch movies that aren’t allowed. They have started calling you a baby because you don’t want to watch.
PEER PRESSURE. Sometimes other people can make it hard to choose the safe option. When a friend or classmate pushes your student to do something they know is wrong, this is called negative peer pressure. One core value that can help guide your student towards safe choices is integrity. Integrity is when you do the right (or safe) thing, even when it is hard and there is no reward for it. This can be extra hard for pre-teens and teens because they want to fit in with their friends. You can help your student get ready to make safe choices.
* With your student, come up with a list of 2–3 things they can say to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
For example:
- I forgot something, I gotta go.
- My parents track my location so, no way!
- I have to be home early to help my family.
Role playing different situations while using a selected “excuse” can be a powerful tool to prepare your student for a real event. Remind them that they will always have your support.
CONNECT WITH YOUR STUDENT. Talking with your student openly, honestly, and often helps them understand
themselves and your family. It also prepares them to handle hard situations as they grow up. Spending quality time together builds a strong bond, so your student knows they can come to you when they need help. This week, try these simple ways to connect as a family.
* Share a family meal. Sit down together for a meal with phones and screens put away. While you eat, play “The
Favorites Game.” Take turns naming your favorite things, like a cereal, movie, game, sports team, or dessert. You can also make up your own categories. You might learn something new about each other!
* Play a game together. After the meal, play a round of Uno or charades. Games are a fun way to laugh, take turns, and practice being a good sport, whether you win or lose.
* Plan a movie night. Pick a movie the whole family can enjoy. When it’s over, talk about how the main character solved a problem. You might ask:
- What problem did the character face?
- Who did they ask for help?
- What would you have done in their place?
These talks help your child think about how to handle hard situations and remind them they can always come to you for help.
