Anxiety is a normal part of life, and even young children can feel it. It is common for kids to feel nervous before a test, worry about making new friends, or be afraid of the dark. These feelings usually come and go. But when anxiety becomes very strong, lasts a long time, or makes it hard for a child to do everyday things, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder.
Childhood anxiety is more common than many people realize. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 1 in 10 children ages 3 to 17 in the United States has a diagnosed anxiety disorder. If left unaddressed, anxiety can interfere with a child’s emotional well-being, academic performance, and relationships with others. The good news is that with the right support, children can learn to manage anxiety and develop healthy, lifelong coping strategies.
What Does Anxiety Look Like in Children?
Anxiety can manifest in different ways depending on the child’s age, temperament, and experiences. Here are some common signs of anxiety in children:
Emotional Signs
- Does my child seem to worry a lot, even about things that seem small?
- Is my child often afraid of school, the future, or being around other people?
- Does my child have a hard time calming down when feeling nervous or scared?
- Is my child very sensitive to mistakes, criticism, or pressure to be perfect?
Physical Signs
- Does my child complain about stomachaches, headaches, or feeling sick when there is no clear obvious illness or medical reason?
- Is my child having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or feeling rested during the day?
- Does my child seem restless, fidgety, or have trouble sitting still?
- Does my child seem out of breath or report that their heart is racing —even when they are not exercising or being active?
Behavioral Symptoms
- Is my child avoiding people, places, or activities that make them nervous or worried?
- Does my child have a hard time being away from me or other caregivers?
- Does my child cry, get angry, or melt down when something new or hard comes up?
- Is my child asking the same questions over and over, like “Will I be okay?” or “Are you sure?”
If anxiety starts interfering with daily life—such as missing school, avoiding social interactions, or struggling with everyday tasks—it’s important to get help.
What Causes Childhood Anxiety?
Anxiety is a normal part of life, but some children feel it more often or more strongly than others. There is no single cause of anxiety. Instead, it usually happens because of a mix of different factors. Here are the main reasons:
Family History – A family history of anxiety can increase a child’s likelihood of experiencing it.
Brain Differences – Some children’s brains respond more strongly to stress. Their bodies may react faster to fear, even when there is no real danger. This can make them feel anxious more often.
Personality & Temperament – Children who are naturally shy, sensitive, or become upset easily may be more likely to develop anxiety. These traits show up early in life and may continue as children grow.
Stressful Events – Moving to a new school, losing a loved one, or experiencing bullying can trigger anxiety.
Environment – School stress, social pressure, and fear of making mistakes can make anxiety worse. Children may also copy anxious behaviors from parents or caregivers who worry often.
How to Help a Child with Anxiety
Supporting a child with anxiety requires patience, understanding, and practical strategies. Here’s how parents, caregivers, and educators can help:
1. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Let your child know that it’s okay to feel anxious and that their feelings are understandable. This helps them feel heard and supported. Instead of saying, “Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal,” try:
- “I see that you’re feeling nervous about going to school. That’s okay—it’s normal to feel that way.”
- “I know you’re scared of the dark. Let’s talk about what we can do to help you feel safe.”
2. Teach Calming Strategies
Help your child learn ways to self-soothe when they feel anxious:
- Deep breathing – Deep breathing calms the body’s stress response, slows the heart rate, and signals to the brain that it is safe to relax. Practice deep breathing with your child. It often helps to clap or snap your fingers as you count.
- Breath in for the count of three
- Hold for a second
- And breathe out for the count of five
- Mindfulness and grounding techniques – Encourage your child to focus on their senses by quietly naming:
- Five things you can see
- Four things you can touch (or that are touching you)
- Three things you hear
- Two things you smell
- One thing you taste
- Visualization – Have them imagine a “calm place” where they feel safe.
3. Help Them Face Their Fears Gradually
Avoiding anxiety-inducing situations can make worries worse. Instead, encourage small, manageable steps to help your child face their fears:
- If they’re scared of speaking in class, start by practicing at home.
- If they have separation anxiety, begin with short periods apart and slowly increase the time you spend apart.
- Celebrate small wins! Encouragement builds confidence.
4. Create Predictability & Routine
Children feel safer when they know what to expect. A structured routine can help reduce anxiety:
- Set regular morning and bedtime routines.
- Prepare your child for changes. For example, you could say: “In five minutes, we’re going to leave for school.”
- Use visual schedules for younger children to help them know what’s coming next.
5. Limit Reassurance & Encourage Problem-Solving
It’s natural to want to reassure an anxious child, but too much reassurance can reinforce anxiety. Instead, guide them to problem-solve.
- Instead of “Yes, everything will be fine,” ask:
- “What could you do if you start feeling nervous?”
- Instead of “Don’t worry, you won’t fail,” say:
- “Even if you don’t get everything right, what’s the worst that could happen?”
This teaches children that they can handle uncertainty and challenges on their own.
6. Encourage a Growth Mindset
Help children understand that anxiety doesn’t define them and that they can build resilience.
- Praise effort over perfection: “I’m proud of how you tried, even though it was hard.”
- Remind them that mistakes help us learn: “Everyone feels nervous sometimes—it means you’re growing!”
- Encourage kindness to themselves: “It’s okay to feel scared, but you can feel proud that you are brave enough to try.”
7. Model Healthy Coping Strategies
Children learn by watching adults. If you model healthy ways to manage stress and emotions, they will too.
- Talk about your own feelings: “I had a stressful day, so I’m going to take some deep breaths to relax.”
- Show how you problem-solve and adapt to challenges.
- Maintain a calm and reassuring tone when they express anxiety.
8. Know When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes children need additional support to manage anxiety – and parents can use support too. If you are concerned, start by talking with your child’s doctor. They can help you decide on next steps and recommend a psychologist or child psychiatrist. If possible, try to see a Master’s level clinician with a Play Therapy specialization.
Some recommended resources to help with finding a specialist include Psychology Today, Family Houston, Depelchin, and JFS Houston.
Final Thoughts
Anxiety is a normal part of childhood, but when it gets too overwhelming, children need help facing their fears. By understanding their feelings, teaching them how to cope, encouraging independence, and showing how to be strong, we can help children manage anxiety and become confident, emotionally strong people.
Every child can learn to face fears, handle challenges, and grow stronger—they just need the right support to get there.
Key References & More Reading
These trusted sources provide reliable, research-based information on childhood anxiety:
- “You’ve Got This: Parenting and Children’s Mental Health” – ChildBuilders’ prerecorded webinar
- Psychology Today – Child Therapists in Houston, TX
- Family Houston – Counseling for Children and Teens
- Depelchin – Counseling Services
- JFS Houston – Children & Teen Counseling
- Child Mind Institute – Signs of Anxiety in Children
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) – Anxiety and Depression in Children
- Cleveland Clinic – Anxiety Disorders in Children
- Understood.org – What Anxiety Looks Like in Elementary School Kids
