Parenting is likely the most important role you will ever take on. It’s a profound opportunity to raise, shape, and guide another human being. While it can bring immense joy, it also comes with significant responsibility—and at times, stress and frustration.
Let’s be honest: kids don’t come with instruction manuals. They have emotional outbursts and behaviors that can push your limits. The good news? With some advance planning and preparation, many of these challenges can be managed—or even avoided entirely.
Anticipate and Plan
Being proactive is essential to your peace of mind and parenting success. Setting clear expectations, establishing rules, and maintaining routines all help create a predictable environment for your child and can prevent many common problems. For example:
- Before outings or events, talk with your child about what behavior is expected. This simple step can set you both up for a more pleasant experience.
- Understanding the developmental stages your child will go through can also help reduce stress. For example, if you know toddler tantrums are a normal part of growing up, you’re more likely to stay calm and respond with patience. Similarly, when older kids talk back or say hurtful things, try not to take it personally. Instead, model emotional control and wait until they’ve calmed down to have a meaningful conversation.
- Sibling rivalry is another normal—but stressful—part of childhood. While frustrating, it offers kids an opportunity to learn valuable communication and problem-solving skills.
The following resources can help you plan for these common parenting challenges:
- Developmental Stages:
- Tantrums:
- Emotional Control:
- Sibling Rivalry:
Communicate with Empathy
1. Effective communication starts when both you and your child are calm. Try to understand the feelings driving your child’s behavior and respond with empathy. For example, you can say:
“I know you were playing with the toy, and you’re upset because your sister took it. But hitting is not safe and goes against our family rules. Let’s find a better way to handle this.”
2. Help your child come up with solutions—and follow through.
3. Validating your child’s feelings, even at times when they overreact, can calm a situation. You can say,
“Wow! That must have really hurt! But look how brave you are, you came right over to tell me about your fall. Great job!”
4. Giving attention to the behaviors you want to see repeated can help shape your child’s behavior in a positive direction and give you some peace in the future.
5. Organizations like ChildBuilders offer great resources on parenting with empathy.
Practice Ahead of Time
Teach and practice skills with your child before they’re needed. For example, before going to the store, talk about staying close to you in the parking lot, looking without touching, and how to accept “no” gracefully if you’re not buying extras. Practicing in advance sets clear expectations and builds confidence.
Prioritize Self-Care
Taking care of your own mental and physical well-being is essential—especially during the more challenging moments of parenting. Life can be overwhelming with work, family obligations, health concerns, and financial or community pressures. You may feel like there’s no time for yourself, but even a small investment in your well-being can have a big impact on both your health and your relationship with your child.
Here are some self-care strategies to keep in mind:
- Get good nutrition, sleep, and exercise on a regular basis.
- Practice emotional regulation. Know your triggers and pause before reacting. Try deep breathing, taking a walk, or using positive self-talk.
- Stay connected. Spend time with friends and practice mindfulness.
- Have fun. Make time for hobbies or try something new.
- Set realistic goals for yourself and your child.
- Ask for help when you need it—whether from family, friends, church, or support groups.
- Set boundaries for work, personal time, and family time.
- Use positive self-talk. Try repeating reassuring phrases to yourself in tough moments. For example, you can say to yourself: I can remain calm. My child is learning from me. I am the calm in their storm. This too shall pass.
And most importantly: Be kind to yourself. Parenting is hard. You're learning and growing right alongside your child.
Reflect and Evaluate
Remember: children are not little adults. They lack the experience, language, knowledge, and emotional control that you’ve had years to develop. As their first and most important teacher, your influence is powerful.
You won’t be perfect—and that’s okay. Mistakes are part of the journey. But when you stay one step ahead in their development, remain calm and consistent, and prioritize your own well-being, you’ll be better equipped to raise a happy, healthy, and resilient child.
And you’ll find more joy in the process, too.
